This is the first step in the series How To Beat Motherhood Overwhelm In 7 Easy Steps.
If you’ve clicked on this post you’re probably overwhelmed, finding it hard to love motherhood or some variation of the two. Motherhood is hard. Managing a household, raising loving, well mannered children to become functioning adults and not forgetting yourself, your pursuits and your other relationships in the process is… overwhelming!
Where do you start?
You start with your why. Once you know why you are doing something and what your purpose is, it changes how you do it. For some of us, motherhood looks like nannies, prestigious careers and high rise apartments. For others it means milking goats, living completely off-grid and both parents working from home. Or, any number of other parenting scenarios.
Is one motherhood, and another not? No! It simply means our why is different! It means my purpose is different than your purpose.
In motherhood, the trouble comes when the what – the chores, the schedule, the personalities – are coming at us at a pace where we don’t have the time or energy to think about our purpose. Later in this series we’re going to be talking about the what and the how, even some when (hey five w’s and an h, remember me from fifth grade?), but for today, we’re focusing on the internal work of purpose.
Are you serious right now?
Ann, seriously, purpose? I’m wearing a three day old shirt and my toddler is chewing on a pizza crust, and I don’t remember the last time we had pizza! Of all the things I could be doing right now, why purpose?
Well, dear reader, purpose is going to give you a starting point. It’s going to help you figure out what to focus your energy on, and what not to! If motherhood is good for any one thing, it’s great at showing us how much we can squeeze into just 24 hours! And purpose is going to help us choose what goes into those hours. Purpose is going to give us the ability to say things like: it’s more important that we’re having fun together than cleaning right now. But that’s not all, it’s ALSO going to give us the ability to say: things are too out of control for anyone to have fun right now, I need to put the fun activities on hold and get this house straightened up, maybe even get rid of some stuff, so we can see each other!
Let’s Get Cozy
Here’s a video on the importance of “why”. Watch it, it’s so, so good – and short!
Step 1: Find Your Purpose
Now that you know why purpose is important, your easy step for today is to sit yourself down, with a cuppa, a snack, and your favorite way to take notes. Jot down whatever comes to mind on what you think a good Mom is, a good woman, a good person. What thoughts motivate you to press on when things are hard? What women, real or fictional stand out as people you want to emulate? What characteristics do they have? What life giving or laughter inducing quotes help you press on?
Start a post-it note list, a folder, a Pinterest board, whatever you think you’ll look at again and get some of these ideas together. Over time they’ll form a whole, a defined purpose, but for today, just gather things you like.
Below are some of my favorite quotes and sayings about womanhood, motherhood, even personhood, that are super motivating for me. Feel free to borrow them!
Ann’s 10 Favorite Motherhood Sayings
1. If my kids had a perfect mother, they wouldn’t need a perfect savior. – Unknown
2. There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be diminished by a nice cup of tea. – Bernard-Paul Heroux
3. If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. – Flylady
4. I always wanted to be a hero – to sacrifice my life in a big way one time – and yet, God has required my sacrifice to be thousands of days, over many years, with one more kiss, one more story, one more meal. – Sally Clarkson
5. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Proverbs 31:25
6. A house does not rest upon the ground, but upon the woman. – Mexican Proverb
7. You must be the change you wish to see in the world. – Mahatma Gandhi
8. Keep in mind that your home did not get this way overnight, and it is not going to get clean in a day. – Flylady
9. It is better to live in a corner of a roof, than to live in a house shared with a contentious woman. Proverbs 21:9
10. One of the marks of a godly woman is that she takes responsibility for her soul’s need for joy and delight. A woman is a conductor, who leads the orchestra of her surroundings in the songs and music of her life. God is a God of creativity and dimension, and so He is pleased when we co-create beauty in our own realm, through the power of his spirit. It was a profound realization when I understood that I could become an artist with my very life. – Sally Carkson
What would your list look like? Care to share a favorite?